Eat Pray Love: movie review

In 'Eat Pray Love,' Julia Roberts plays a newly divorced 30-something in search of herself, based on Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir.

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Julia Roberts is shown in a scene from the new movie 'Eat, Pray, Love.'

Somewhere on its journey to the big screen, “Eat Pray Love” – the film adaptation of Elizabeth Gilbert’s bestselling memoir “Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia” – lost not only its marquee-unfriendly subtitle, but even its two commas. It will compensate by inducing a much larger number of comas among its viewers. 

For those who missed the book, Gilbert – a successful author increasingly dissatisfied with her life – got a divorce and embarked on a yearlong trip to Italy, India, and Bali in search of enlightenment or balance or some other balm to soothe her unease. She reportedly funded the trip with a hefty advance for the book, thus guaranteeing that she had better learn something knowing and wise, since “Writer scours world for meaning of life... Comes up empty-handed” is not a publisher’s dream pitch for display space at Barnes & Noble.

Julia Roberts stands in for Gilbert here, and her movie star persona overwhelms the character. We never for a minute forget who she is. Liz’s big lesson in the “Eat” segment – Liz must have trouble multitasking because there’s one titular activity per country – is to relax and experience pleasure, mainly in the form of Italian food. She encourages her friend Sofi (Tuva Novotny) to stop worrying about maintaining a rigidly low weight and join her in indulgence.

We are treated to a montage – filled with forced jauntiness – of the two women trying to squeeze into a succession of growing pants sizes. Except it’s still Roberts: Even if she did (as reported) gain a whole 10 pounds for the film, her cheekbones could still slice ripe tomatoes. “Letting go” means sliding from the top 1 percent of the population on the slenderness scale to the top 2 percent. (By the way, cinematographer Bob Richardson makes the pasta look so luscious that low-carbers will have to cover their eyes more than the most squeamish viewer at a Saw film.)

Even after the scene switches to India, we’re not allowed to forget Liz’s newfound appetite: A running gag has fellow ashrammer “Richard from Texas” (the always excellent Richard Jenkins) always calling her “Groceries” because of the way she can wolf it down.

But, in the Gilbert blueprint, India is supposed to be prayerful, not prandial. So Liz learns to meditate. This involves emptying her mind, which – judging from the banalities in the voice-over – shouldn’t require much heavy lifting, if you catch my drift. (She also takes what must be the shortest vow of silence ever.) It is hard to imagine anything less cinematic than trancing out; to portray it accurately would provide too tempting an invitation to the audience. While I can imagine taking pleasure in gazing at Roberts’s navel, there are few things less rewarding than gazing at Roberts gazing at Roberts’s navel.

Moving from bellybutton to Bali, the film finally allows Liz a carnal/romantic consummation, in the form of Felipe (Javier Bardem), a soulful Brazilian expat. They have their ups and downs, but end up literally sailing off into the sunset. No, that’s unfair: The boat has a motor.

What with the title and pedigree, no one would expect “Eat Pray Love” to be filled with thrilling action. But the word “movie” does imply movement, and almost nothing ever happens throughout the protracted two hours and 20 minutes that director/co-writer Ryan Murphy takes to chronicle Liz’s travels. Nor are the “meaningful lessons” worth the wait. During the India scenes, Liz accuses Richard from Texas of spouting a bunch of bumper-sticker slogans ... as though her revelations are any better. Grade: C (Rated PG-13 on appeal for brief strong language, some sexual references, and male rear nudity.)

Lost Boys: The Thirst Screening and Review

                                                                      The Frog Brothers reunite for The Thirst

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find...You get what you need!" That old lyrical bone of truth resides within the genetic make-up of Lost Boys: The Thirst, the third installment of what has now become an ongoing series of direct-to-DVD adventures featuring the illustrious and hard-to-kill Frog Brothers. David, Star, Michael, and even, sadly, Sam Emerson have all fallen to the wayside of pop recognizability. Within the cannon, these fan-favorite characters have perished and are no longer with us. In continuing this much ballyhooed story from the late 80s, it only makes sense that we'd follow these two young vampire hunters who have gone onto become legends in their own time.

Lost Boys: The Thirst should never be looked at as a sequel. It's a spin-off worthy of its own TV show, which Corey Feldman claims is in the works. If they can deliver this exacting, explosive caliber every single week for ten, twelve, or even twenty-two episodes straight, The CW has a hit on its hands. And it would be the perfect antidote to that channel's own The Vampire Diaries. This current mindset that Vampires are righteous, lovable little creatures who should be worshipped and lusted after is damaging to the public psyche. If anything, Lost Boys: The Thirst attempts to spin the tide on that crass way of thinking, and it once again turns our beloved Vampire Hunters into the true heroes they deserve to be.

Will that notion be welcomed by the young teenage girls and boys who have so heartedly bought into the notion that Twilight is not just a book, but a way of life? It's hard to tell, but the cross-over potential is mind blowing if you think about it. Who wouldn't want Edgar and Allan showing up for an episode of Supernatural (show runner Sera Gamble says that is very much a possibility, as both are Warner Bros.' properties). For now, Edgar and Allan will have to be content with fighting Jacob and Edward doppelgangers in this story that curbs from the life and times of Stephanie Meyer with gleeful abandoned.

Is it The Lost Boys sequel we've always hoped for?

No.

Is it the Frog Brothers movie we've been crying for ever since the not-so-great Lost Boys: The Tribe hit DVD shelves two years ago?

Yes. And then some.

Edgar Frog confronts the makers of a reality program in search of vampires

With everything being canonized, and franchised, remade, rebooted, and retooled, we're hard pressed in this day and age to find any sequel or continuation of a previous storyline to have the same resonance and weight as the original. A right proper sequel to the original The Lost Boys could have only come in 1989 or 1990. It wouldn't have been as interesting, or as electrifying, or as beloved as that first film. But looking back at the noted cinematic history of that particular time, it might have been as enjoyable as Young Guns II. Which stands as a worthwhile endevor in its own right. Anything after this contained era in time would have been spilt, spoiled milk. Instead of charging forth with a Lost Boys 2, Corey Haim and Corey Feldman decided to make Dream a Little Dream. Which has gone on to become a weird cult oddity on its own. Despite the fact that its intentions are unclear, people love it almost as much as they love The Lost Boys. Almost, but not quite. Still, that adoration is apparent for two reasons. Feldman and Haim.

Their chemistry was electrifying and legendary.

We'll never get another teen duo like these two young actors. After they went through their self-destructive journeys and their bouts with has been status, the two actors started to reemerge as a pair of nostalgia worthy icons that fans actually wanted to see back on screen together. They pushed for a Lost Boys sequel for a long time while other members of the cast and crew strayed far away from that notion. Warner Bros. decided that this was a good title for their Warner Premier catalogue, a division that would become known for taking beloved properties and turning them into a home market franchise.

The problem with that first sequel, Lost Boys: The Tribe, is that they wanted a fresh set of faces. Young actors who might entice a new audience to check out an old, antiquated property from the bygone era of the 80s. What producers failed to recognize, and what Haim and Feldman really tried to push home, was the fact that today's audience knew and loved the original just as much as their parents did. It's a timeless title that still gets a lot of play on video, TV, and at revival houses. They didn't need a new cast, new characters, or a new storyline. They just needed Sam and the Frog Brothers. There's your cash cow.

Sam reunites with the Frog Brothers in a flashback

Warner Premier begrudgingly allowed Corey Feldman a cameo in that first sequel. Not surprisingly, his scenes were the only ones that really worked. They truly resonated with test audiences, as Feldman truly gave of himself and commited to this iconic character. So they brought him back for more face time, and opened up a day's worth of shooting to Corey Haim, who can only be seen during the end credits as a Vampire. Jamison Newlander, who played the quieter Frog Brother Allan, was delegated to the deleted scenes on the special features area of the DVD. Fans appropriately flipped this weak attempt at brevity the all-mighty finger. It was soon forgotten. But not forgiven.

They truly fucked it up.

The only positive aspect mentioned in mostly all the reviews for Lost Boys: The Tribe was the fact that Corey Feldman, as Edgar Frog, really brought a sense of urgency and excitement to a horribly produced B movie that couldn't quite lift itself off the ground. No one cared about the "kids in peril" aspect. It was a rehash of the first film's storyline. A rip-off. No one cared about the head vampire this time around, despite the fact that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland's own brother, Angus Sutherland.

The lone Frog Brother was the only thing worth watching the movie for. And we, as fans, made enough noise about this fact that Warner Premier actually listened to the complaints. They went back to Feldman and hired him as a producer for the third film. From there, they also hired writers Evan Charnov and Hans Rodionoff , the team behind the well-received The Lost Boys comic book series, and visionary artist Dario Piana as a director. They were given carte blanche to start all over again from scratch. They then hooked Jamison Newlander to return in full co-starring status as Allan Frog. Then together, they set out to create something that would honor the original and please fans that thought the second installment sucked more than just blood.

The result? A rip-roaring good time that delivers on the action, the nostalgia, and the premise of these two Vampire Hunting brothers that was so solidly set up some twenty-three years ago. If this had appeared on Fox as a telefilm in the years following the original's release, it would be worshipped and watched on a loop today. It's sort of like when the Ewoks got their own two-part film series after Return of the Jedi had its theatrical run. This is a "true" a spin-off. And that's exactly what it should be. It's the Frog Brothers, all the time the entire time. We can't get a true sequel no matter how much we may have wanted one. This is the next best thing, and on its own merits, its quite awesome in every way, shape, and form. If Warner Premier were to play it smart, they should continue on with this series by changing the title of the fourth film to The Frog Brothers: The Wolf Moon.

Or whatever may come next.

Edgar is given an offer he can't refuse

At its heart, this particular outing is really about the loss of Sam, and what it means to Edgar and Allan's relationship. What their brotherhood, and their friendship means to one another. The Lost Boys mentioned in the title were the vampires. Their hunters were secondary characters. Now we are getting them in their own iodized plot. Corey Feldman nails it home once again as the gun-loving, beef eating, macho-everyman who worships Rambo, crosses, and a good garlic spread on his late night toast snack. He's a bit depressed and, as we saw in the second film, living alone in a hovel of a trailer. He smokes the occasional pinch of dope, living up to the expectations his hippie parents set forth. He drives a bad ass truck. And he occasionally drifts in and out of the local comic book shop.

Allan is now living a sheltered life underground as a vampire desperately curbing his urge to bite people. In a great opening scene that is pulled from the comic book series (one that should make any fan ecstatic), we learn how Allan was turned. It's a glorious bit of action that calls back the climactic end battle sequence of that first film. And Sam? Well, Sam is dead. Edgar will often remember scenes from the first movie, and we see all three actors living together on screen. There is a touching tribute to Haim that finds Edgar visiting Sam's grave. It was shot before Corey passed away, but it resonates with unintended emotion, giving this particular film just the right amount of pathos. The old footage doesn't exploit the situation that lingers just outside of the frame. Instead it honors the previous work these two young actors accomplished together.

Edgar is depressed throughout the first act. He is selling off his belongs at a quickened pace. Though, he can't bear to part with his Batman #14. This is when author Gwen Lieber shows up with an offer he simply can't refuse. She is the best selling workhorse behind a series of romance novels that glorify vampirism. Disgusted, Edgar wants nothing to do with her. Yet, her intentions are good. She knows that there is a new drug on the market that is actually vampire's blood (the dusty old wine bottle has been replaced by a cocaine vile), and a small coven is slowly using this "stimulant" to turn the teen population of America into an army of the living dead.

The rest of the film is one crucified and decimated vamp after the next, as the writers figured out how to engage Edgar in battle every step of the way. They give him quite a few great moments that make this an exhilarating ride. Here is a vampire war movie mixed with a good old fashion western. It never slows down for a moment, which is quite contrary to the pacing of that second film. Gwen uses her best seller status and fortune to buy Frog whatever he needs. She also pays him an excellent wage to go forth and infiltrate the Vampire's underground bunker. But this comes with a price that he is not willing to pay himself.

The Frog Brother retirement party is finally over!

Lieber's intentions are riddled with mistrust and greed. She not only wants to film Frog's exploits for a reality program, she always wants to retain the rights to this story and use it for her next book. Edgar is on the verge of saying, "Fuck you!" But he, as we know, believes in truth, justice, and the American way. Along for the ride is a camera crew and the host of a new show centering on American myths and legends. This could have been annoying, but when all but one of his crew is laid to waist early on by a bevy of monsters, we're introduced to a great new character that will surely be around for the next installment.

This third chapter is able to give us new characters we actually care about, something that second film completely failed to do. Gwen is established as a future love interest for Edgar, and we buy it. We like it. The head vampire is kind of a dud, but his Tank Girl-idolizing sidekick is pretty great. And a good foil for Edgar. Allan is absent from huge chunks of the first two acts, but he is given the Nanook moment, and the last half of the film is completely given over to The Frog Brothers as they lay waist to this emerging Vampire militia. Somehow, someway, these guys found a way to make a very fun, very entertaining film that is better than most of the big screen films hitting our Cineplex this summer. For those not lucky enough to catch it at Comic-Con 2010, the film will hit stores on October 12th, loaded with special features.

If you didn't like the second one, that is understandable. Don't let it stand in your way of seeking out this small gem of an action horror movie. If we'd never heard of The Frog Brothers, we'd be calling this a cult classic. It fully brings the Vampire Hunter back to the forefront of a genre that has been dampened by Vamps striving to be the hero. And all the innocent little girls that currently have them under that spell might disengage a bit.

At the screening, Corey Feldman told us that they are in the planning stages for three more Frog Brothers movies. Corey Haim was supposed to come back for part 4. It was already in the works. Now, they are going to bring back Laddie, Star's little brother from the first film. He will once again be played by original actor Chance Michael Corbitt. And the end of 3 alludes to the fact that we may be seeing werewolves this next time around (hence the title Wolf Moon). And as mentioned, we may even see a weekly series that will find the Frog Brothers facing all kinds of various monsters and super natural elements.

No matter how you slice it, Lost Boys: The Thirst is, if nothing else, the Frog Brothers stand alone film that we've been waiting to see. Any film that ends with Edgar and Allan locked in a tight hand grip screaming, "We are awesome monster bashers!" Is pretty great in my book. Seeing Lost Boys: The Thirst was one of the most exciting things to happen at Comic-Con 2010. Buy the DVD, if only to ensure that we get more Frog Brothers adventures. We need this fix at least two times a month.

Flipped Reviewed

Rob Reiner has been a great director. From the 1980s through the first couple years of the 1990s the man put out classic after classic, be it incredible comedies like The Is Spinal Tap, truly terrifying horror like Misery, unforgettable fantasy like The Princess Bride, or hard-hitting drama like A Few Good Men. Then came North, a film that was considered by many to be the worst film of 1994. In the 16 years since, Reiner has failed to make anything that’s earned the same level of critical acclaim as his early work. His newest film, Flipped, is the one to end the streak.

Adapted from the book by Wendelin Van Draanen, the film follows a young boy and a young girl as they grow up together in the late 50s and early 60s. Switching back and forth between their points of view, young Juli Baker (Madeline Carroll) has been in love with her neighbor, Bryce Loski (Callan McAuliffe), from the second she laid eyes on him in second grade. She loves everything about him, from his piercing brown eyes to the smell of his hair. As young boys are wont to do, however, Bryce rejects Juli completely, never embracing her love and actively trying to get rid of her. But as they enter the eighth grade, everything begins to change. Bryce begins to see Juli in a way that he’s never seen her before – but his change of heart may have come too late.

What stands out most about Flipped is its relationship with one of Reiner’s best films: Stand By Me. Almost a sequel in spirit, the movie implants a deep feeling of nostalgia, even for those who never lived in the era. Though the book on which the film is based is set in a more contemporary setting, moving the events to 1963 allowed Reiner to feed off of his own experience growing up, and that familiarity fuels the movie and gives it authenticity. The story itself is timeless and relatable to anyone, but the decision to make it a period piece brings it to another level.

The way Flipped is presented, first telling a story through the eyes and thoughts of Bryce and then again through the eyes and thoughts of Juli, could have easily been a disaster in less capable hands, but, surprisingly, the audience never feels bored by the repetition. Nearly every event in the film is told at least twice but, because you are so invested in the characters, you actually begin to eagerly anticipate what the other side of the story will be. There are scenes in which Bryce senses Juli’s emotions, but you’ll want to take that look behind the curtain and understand why she feels the way she does.

Occasionally souring the affair are more saccharine moments. While the movie doesn’t jam a fistful of sugar down your throat every chance it gets, it certainly doesn’t try to avoid doing so. The relationship between Bryce and his grandfather, played by John Mahoney, feels as though it was ripped right off the streets of Mayberry, but, fortunately, Bryce’s father, played by Anthony Edwards, is enough of an asshole to bring it all back down to reality.

Flipped is intermittently an overly sappy, overly simple period young love story, but it’s the film’s heart, reality, and creative storytelling that saves it. The cast is strong and the irregular structure works perfectly. Welcome back, Mr. Reiner.

Furry Vengeance 2010

INFO:

Director: Roger Kumble

Starring: Brendan Fraser, Brooke Shields, Dick Van Dyke, Ken Jeong, Samantha Bee

This is the first review by my 11 year old son, Daniel.

This film is a film that everyone would like. Workers led by a man try to tear down the forest. The animals do not like this so they get revenge (well try).

The way the film is laid out and produced is amazing. I like the way the animals are the main characters and all the little contraptions they have made to keep the workers out.

The funniest bit is were skunks move in to Brandon Fraser’s car and gas him. My 3-year-old sister called Hannah loved this part and acts it out every day in front of me. The saddest part is were Brandon realises what he has done and stop the workers destroy the forest.

In the beginning the animals attack a man and he falls with his car off a cliff. The director should have showed if he had survived or been killed in the accident.

This is a must see movie that children will enjoy.

  

    Cast

    Brendan Fraser ... Dan Sanders
    Ricky Garcia ... Frank
    Eugene Cordero ... Cheese
    Patrice O'Neal ... Gus
    Jim Norton ... Hank
    Brooke Shields ... Tammy Sanders
    Matt Prokop ... Tyler Sanders
    Billy Bush ... Drill Sergeant
    Ken Jeong ... Neal Lyman
    Angela Kinsey ... Felder
    Samantha Bee ... Principal Baker
    Alice Drummond ... Mrs. Martin
    Toby Huss ... Wilson
    Skyler Samuels ... Amber
    Gerry Bednob ... Mr. Gupta

Screenshot:

Clash of the Titans Movie Review

INFO:

• Starring: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Flemyng, Gemma Arterton, Alexa Davalos, and Mads Mikkelson
• Written By: Travis Beacham, Phil Hay, and Matt Manfredi
• Directed By: Louis Leterrier

IAS ALERT: For all its cheesiness, the original Clash of the Titans holds a special place in my heart (1981 was a really good summer to be nine). I don't believe my borderline loathing of this film has anything to do with those rose-colored memories, but it bears mentioning. One could also cite the blatant disregard for Greek mythology in the epic failure of the new Clash of the Titans, but that's disingenuous too. Popcorn films are allowed to play fast and loose with their material in the name of good clean fun. Clash of the Titans, however, proves unwilling to live by the rules of its own plot, which it breaks and rebreaks so many times that its narrative becomes an utter hash.

Moreover, its slavish reliance on admittedly strong F/X destroys any sense of dramatic pacing. We just get an orgy of Greek monsters plucked from the first film and shoveled at us without rhyme or reason. The actors remain either bored or wooden (you can actually see Liam Neeson spending his paycheck in his head), and the rudderless storyline crashes against more rocks than Odysseus himself. Fault director Louis Leterrier, who hides his lack of storytelling acumen behind copious effects like so many studio hacks before him.

The basics remain the same as in the original. Perseus (Sam Worthington), bastard son of Zeus, quests to find the head of the Medusa--the only thing capable of destroying the monstrous Kraken. The vengeful gods are preparing to set the beast loose on the city of Argos, razing it to the ground unless the people put their princess Andromeda (Alexa Davalos) up for sacrifice.

That much is clear. Delve any deeper into the particulars, however, and the proceedings quickly collapse into a big wet pile of stupid. For starters, men hate the gods: defying their will at every turn and declaring themselves exempt from divine rule. It's part of the screenwriters' ill-conceived notion to depict Perseus as the child of two worlds; his quest an effort to declare his allegiance for humanity and overthrow the gods' rule once and for all. Zeus (Neeson) is understandably irate at all of this and responds… by sending Perseus a magic sword to help him out.

Then there's Zeus's brother Hades (Ralph Fiennes), who volunteers to go down and smite the mortals on Zeus's behalf. Why the king of the gods can't do his own smiting is something of a mystery, especially since he nails King Acrisius (Jason Flemyng) with a ginormous lightning bolt early in the proceedings. But no matter. Hades heads to Earth to lay the smackdown on mortaldom… then says he'll spare them if they sacrifice Andromeda. Given free rein to commit wholesale genocide, he settles for a single hot chick, a move which will doubtless get him tossed out of the Evil Mastermind's Guild on general principles. It's all part of some scheme to seize control of the universe from Zeus, which involves stopping Perseus for reasons never made entirely clear.

Leterrier shows no interest in untangling these thorny knots, content to leave the audience sputtering in bewilderment while the monster mash kicks into high gear. Even then, Clash of the Titans might had prevailed if said monster mash displayed any sense of grace or timing. But the fight scenes are edited into pointless sound and noise, defined only by the particular CG beastie which Perseus and his pals are fighting at any given time. The Pegasus shows up to aid him at one point--black instead of white to emphasize how much more bad-ass this version is than the original--but Leterrier has no sense of how to properly set up such a concept. The horse just gets thrown into the mix haphazardly until it becomes indistinguishable from the other sights onscreen.

So too do Perseus's companions appear to us in a random hodge-podge. As if realizing that Andromeda doesn't register enough screen time to make a proper love interest, the script provides Perseus with a guide, Io (Gemma Arterton), who delivers ungainly chunks of exposition and differentiates which monster is which as they come barreling at us. The slapped-on 3D imagery don't help matters, darkening the film's palette and rendering the action even less comprehensible. If there's any justice, it will crash and burn in 3D and put a quick kibbutz on this burgeoning gimmick to which Hollywood suddenly seems addicted.

The effects themselves are solidly rendered, and Fiennes does well as the ostensible villain, reminding us how much he's going to rock the house as Voldemort this fall. But that's cold comfort for a film as clumsily delivered as this one, crushing the modest charms of its predecessor beneath soulless computer-rendered bulk. The creators of the first Clash had a keen understanding of how Greek mythology worked, with its capricious gods that you could outwit but never openly defy. This new Clash lacks the wit or insight to recreate such a notion, or even deliver half-decent action. The myths it presumes to reinvent serve only as empty grist for its effects houses, mangled by storytelling incompetence past the point of recognition. The gods should be thankful for that, at least: they don't need to take responsibility for the mess created in their name. 

 

‘Aisha’ New Movie Review

Bollywood’s most awaiting movie ‘Aisha’ hits the silver screen today. Sonam Kapoor, Abhay Deol, Arunoday Singh and Cyrus Sahukar are the main star casts in the film. Rajshree Ojha is the director of this film and Anil Kapoor is the producer.

‘Aisha’ movie is based on the Jane Austen’s 1815 novel ‘Emma’, which tells the story of a diva and a socialite Aisha, the role has played by Sonam Kapoor.

‘Aisha’ is a romantic comedy film where Aisha is a girl leading her life by shopping and playing. Aisha is a good girl but she takes every ones problems as her problem and Arjun is the male lead who has feels that Aisha should mind her own business. Pinky, Shefail, Randhir and Hunk Dhru are aisha’s friends in the movie.

Tags:  Aisha movie review, latest bollywood movies, sonam kapoorm aisha sonam kapoor

Legion Movie Review

 

Angels are the new demons. In truth, straight to video followers have known this since The Prophecy swooped down in 1995. There’s nothing in Scott Stewart’s directorial debut to match the black comedy swagger of that stylish low budgeter, and Paul Bettany’s heavenly rebel pales in comparison to the gloriously laidback malevolence of Christopher Walken’s anti-angel. That said, Legion isn’t without a little light controversy and some interesting ideas.

The film’s Christian-baiting premise is a simple one. God has grown weary of mankind’s selfish warring, so he sends a legion of angels to cull his creations. However, the archangel Michael (Paul Bettany), the bearded one’s favourite but most rebellious charge, spies a new Messiah on the way and a new hope for humanity. Too late, says God. A bit miffed, Michael does what any self-respecting fallen angel would do: he cuts off his wings and goes looking for Jesus 2. Meanwhile, expecting mum Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) wiles away the time working in a rundown diner in the middle of the desert, where she smokes lots of fags and reluctantly lives with her inarticulate boyfriend, Jeep (Lucas Black). With the fate of the world hanging in the balance and the angels about to lay siege on the diner, can Michael keep these white trash heroes alive long enough to bring about the third coming?

Paradise Falls Diner: Subtle this movie is not

You have to take your hat off to any film that provokes the ire of Christian groups before it’s even released. One critic went as far as to claim “It is as if the only goal of executives at Sony Pictures is to slap God in the face with its new movie and anger Christians everywhere. It sure has worked” If God has any sense then he’ll know not to worry about the blasphemous content of Legion; as Michael retorts to one non-believer questioning the existence of God, “Well, that’s just fine, Bob. He doesn’t believe in you either.” I’m siding with God on this one, Bob. The furore definitely died down when the film hit cinemas – there’s nothing like deflecting religious criticism by making a bad film. What could have been a genuinely interesting match-up between Christian and atheist commentators became a mere footnote.

Angels possess 'The weakest' members of society to do their evil bidding: these include old ladies, kids, ice cream men and metallers, for shame!

There are numerous problems to list, but the film’s biggest failing is its total and abject failure to bring interesting characters to the table; they’re an identikit bunch of ciphers taken from hundreds of sci-fi action movies since the eighties, and Terminator in particular. Imagine if Sarah Connor broke down in that Mexican service station, substitute cyborgs for angels, and you’re getting there. Whenever the film shifts the attention from the action (of which there is little) to the characters (of which there are too many), the film sags heavily. 

Only the extras truly understand the horror of Legion

The formula works like this: character seems like a dick, they reveal their reasons, commits an act of self-sacrifice and dies. This would be fair enough if any of them were worth caring about, but their back stories never ring true – Tyrese Gibson’s custody-battling hip-hop wannabe is embarrassingly thin. Only old hands Charles S. Dutton as the diner’s hook-handed grill man, and world weary owner Dennis Quaid, rise above the limited confines of the underwritten script. Protagonists Charlie and Jeep fare the worst. The Mary and Joseph of the piece are a couple of white trash losers with little to say or do, except smoke fags and look surprised until plot point two.

If the filmmakers seriously believe that Legion’s subtext of parental responsibility and coming-of-age inheritance holds up then they should be crucified. To name a character after an off-road vehicle is just cruel; it’s bad enough that Jeep didn’t sow the seed, so why compound his misery further? Wisely, we’re never introduced to God, the biggest daddy of them all, but we do get a look at Gabriel. So often the reluctant and rebellious son in films like The Prophecy and Dogma, here he’s a bit of a daddy’s boy, following God’s ruling to the letter of the law. Perhaps the best thing about Gabriel is that he fights like Batfink. 

Michael and Gabriel: the movie gently hints at a romantic past between the muscular angels - have they got the genitals to make it anything other than platonic, though?

Speaking of action, for a siege movie, Legion is rather light on violence. Whenever a dust-up occurs, it’s invariably night time and the lights aren’t working. Blame budgetary restraints if you will, but I suspect that the absence of creative action is as much down to a paucity of directorial vision and originality in the script as it is a lack of reddies. The film isn’t without moments of flair and fun, though: an explosion leaves a satisfyingly crucifix-shaped hole in the wall; a grotesque swarm of flies infiltrates a moving vehicle full of people; a possessed old lady calls someone a ‘C***’, bites a neck and then climbs the walls. There are enough moments to keep the attention, but these are almost superfluous to the plot. If someone had spent more time investing the film with these touches throughout, cut down on the number of characters, and given us a bit more action then we could’ve had a decent movie on our hands.

Reminds me of my gran - hell of a woman

Legion’s director Scott Stewart and star Paul Bettany are soon to release their next collaboration, Priest, based on a Korean manhwa comic. Let’s hope that the pair have learned some lessons from this experience.

Movie Review: The Karate Kid (2010)

A remake of The Karate Kid was always going to cause a stir amongst those who remember the original fondly. Remakes don’t go down too well purely on principal, (“They’re ruining my childhood!”) but with The Karate Kid in particularly this is a film beloved by those who grew up in the ‘80s, more cherished out of nostalgia than for how good the movie actually is.

Truthfully the original Karate Kid isn’t a masterpiece and it could be argued a remake was past due. But at the same time a remake had the potential to be a phoned-in, contrived and silly exercise in cash-grabbing. Luckily that’s not the case as this is one of the better remakes to come out of Hollywood, full of genuine heart and with genuinely well choreographed fight sequences.

The story follows Dre Parker (Jaden Smith), a 12-year-old boy from Detroit who is forced to move with his mother to China because of her job. Not long after landing in a country that feels totally alien to him (including the fact he doesn’t speak the language), he begins to get bullied by a local boy who also happens to be one of his classmates (just his luck).

So Dre decides to try and fight back by learning martial arts. After failing to stand up to his tormentor, he receives a helping-hand from Mr. Han (Jackie Chan), the maintenance man of their building. Mr. Han begins to put him through a rigorous training regime to learn Kung Fu in order to win a martial arts tournament.

The plot isn’t the most imaginative in the world but it provides a container for pretty much everything that this type of film should have. It’s by-the-numbers stuff all the way through, from the personal conflicts of Dre trying to get used to his new home to the things he has to overcome in order to prove his worth and honour (no prizes for guessing what the climax of the movie entails)

But even as it strikes all the chords you’d expect (clichéd is a word I wouldn’t shy away from using), it does so with great aplomb. Crucially the relationship between Dre and Mr. Han is believable and realistic, stretching from tough teacher/student to caring friends and the film manages to achieve this whilst rarely (if ever) feeling forced or contrived.

The fight sequences are where the real strengths of The Karate Kid lie. The film’s age rating stops things from getting into “battered-and-bloody” territory but the fighting still manages to feel realistic – you can really feel every punch and kick that gets thrown.

Jaden Smith as Dre is solid although in the instances of him being defiant towards his mother (back-chatting and the like) or getting sentimental with a girl he likes in his class, his delivery of the dialogue is rather stilted. Still, Smith clearly has some of that acting talent and charisma of his father and I can see him going a long way in Hollywood.

While no masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, The Karate Kid does what it needs to do rather well. It combines some kick-ass fight scenes with genuine heart and emotion, and even a healthy dose of true-to-life humour. Certainly one of the biggest pleasant surprises of 2010, The Karate Kid sits comfortably as one of those rare remakes that’s better than the original.

One last thing: can anyone explain to me why it’s called The Karate Kid when it focuses on Kung Fu?

Repo Men 2010 Movie Review - Repossession of Body Parts Read more at Suite101: Repo Men 2010 Movie Review - Repossession of Body Parts http://scififantasyfilms.suite101.com/article.cfm/repo-men-2010-movie-review---repossession-of-body-parts#ixzz0vPl3ANAi

Repo Men 2010 Movie Review - Universal Pictures

It is one thing to repossess a car or a house, but what about artificial organs? The 2010 movie, Repo Men, explores such situations in bloody detail.

If someone misses a car payment, the bank takes it back. If someone misses a house payment, the bank takes it back.

These words are spoken by Remy, the main character from Universal Pictures, Repo Men, portrayed by Jude Law. It's an interesting premise; what happens if someone misses a payment on a body part? Should the owner have the right to take it back?

Though it is doubtful it will ever be legal to slice open a human and reclaim an artificial organ, it does make for an interesting plot. The majority of these people die as a result of such unorthodox surgery, not to mention how gross these scenes are. The director was certainly going for realism, but it is unlikely that emotionally healthy men could be such repo men.

A Family Man Repossesses Organs

Remy is a married man with a young son. His life seems normal enough until the viewer sees his obvious enjoyment of his job. After one disgusting flashback, where he and his partner, portrayed by Forest Whitaker, have butchered a family at Christmas. They are both covered in blood, holding bloody organs, as they look at each other and burst out laughing. What can possibly be funny about such a gruesome situation, made worse by the Christmas lights and tree seen through the window behind them?

Remy's wife is aware of what he does and as has asked him to transfer to Sales. This doesn't exactly make her a sympathetic character, since she is accepting of the company he works for. Sales or Repossession, this company is awful. They sell over priced artificial organs to people who obviously cannot afford them, thereby leading to the inevitable repossessions. What makes the wife even more unsympathetic is that she throws him out once he has his new heart and then finds he cannot do the repossessions anymore. Unfortunately, he cannot do Sales either without telling the customers the gruesome end result when they are unable to pay.

Repo Man Becomes a Wanted Man

The main premise of the movie is what happens when a Repo Man is forced to accept an artificial heart and then falls behind in his payments? His best friend and partner must reclaim the heart, but can he? It's one thing to cut open the chest of a stranger, but is that possible when that person is a friend? There is an unusual twist to the movie. If there is anyone who has not seen Repo Men and/or has not read any of the write ups about it, spoilers are ahead.

The last half hour of the movie is actually Remy's dream. Since Remy is knocked out several times, it isn't easy to tell when that dream starts. That in itself makes the movie unpredictable. Jake, Remy's partner, decides he cannot kill his friend after nearly losing him in a fight. He then pays off his heart and puts him in the Dream Net for the rest of his life.

Read on 

• Repo Men Opens Up New Wounds in Splatter Fest
• Repo Men - Film Review
• Repo Men Movie Review

Some complaints of the movie have been the dream itself. Why wouldn't Remy have placed himself on an island from the beginning, instead of having to struggle? That wouldn't have made sense though. In order for him to believe the dream is real, it had to pick up where reality ended. Remy had to take out the company, so he and his new girlfriend, Beth, could live in peace. Though everything works out well for all the main characters in the end, the only depressing thing is realizing that none of it actually happened.

Happy Ending Isn't What it Seems

Remy will live the rest of his life in a dream coma, but it is unclear what will happen to Beth. She is also past due on her artificial organs. Will Jake kill her getting them back? The owner of the company, portrayed by Liev Schreiber, is evil personified, but he continues on with his devious plans. Will he ever get his just desserts?

These unanswered questions leave an unpleasant taste behind, almost as unpleasant as the unnecessary gore throughout the movie. After all that is said and done, Repo Men is still an enjoyable science fiction action flick and is definitely worth a rental. It is doubtful though that anyone will want to see it a second time, so don't waste money buying the DVD.

Movie review: Dark House

The scariest thing about Dark House, the winner of this year's Fangoria's Frightfest film competition, is that it's the winner of this year's Frightfest film competition. How unutterably bad must the competing films have been? The thought is indeed a chilling one.

The plot of Dark House is a combination of the traditional haunted house story and the psycho killer-themed thriller, with high-tech holographic scare tactics thrown in for in-your-face effect. Director/scripter Darin Scott (whose prior directing experience consists of the 1998 crime drama Caught Up) offers not a lot new here, relying on the kind of ho-hum slasher gore we've grown so accustomed to in low budget genre cinema.

There are a couple of bright points in this run-of-the-mill creepshow darkness, the most notable of which is the hysterically insane performance turned in by Diane Salinger as Miss Darrode, evil mistress of the foster home where all the mad mayhem takes place -- both real-time and in spooky purgatorial re-creation. Horror legend Jeffrey Combs (Re-Animator) also shines as commercial haunted house impresario Mr. Walston, coming off when we first meet him like John Lithgow playing as Christian McKay playing Orson Welles.

Meghan Ory takes the starring role as Claire, who we first encounter as a youngster with more guts than common sense. She stumbles into the Darrode House after the grisly killings of all its young boarders, who are strewn about the household like so many bloodied rag dolls; instead of running from the slaughter like a normal kid, young Claire (played by Courtney Robinson) takes a slow and contemplative tour of the abattoir, ending up in the kitchen where Miss Darrode -- presumably stricken with remorse -- is in the process of grinding away her hands in the InSinkErator.

Flash forward 14 years, by which time Claire has gained enough normalcy to be traumatized by the Darrode House events. (Oh, sure, NOW she's scared of the place.) Her whack-a-doodle psychologist suggest she re-enter the house (now deserted, natch) as a form of confrontational therapy. Or something.

The perfect opportunity presents itself when Walston pays a visit to Claire's acting class, looking for some rubes (I mean, talent) to serve as hosts and hostesses at his newest spook house attraction: Darrode House! Wow, what a coincidence, and Claire quickly convinces her fellow thespians to take him up on the offer.

The rest is all arterial-spray sweetness and computers-gone-haywire light, as the evil spirits in the house take over the high-tech effects programming and make mincemeat of the participants, one by bloody one.

If I didn't know any better (which of course I don't), I'd swear filmmaker Scott had it in for Microsoft. When the system admin's network is taken over by supernatural forces, a particularly insistent sequence of trouble screens begins flashing across his monitor: messages like "DANGER: virus alert," "WARNING: Your computer has become unstable," and "CRITICAL FAILURE! The system has been infected!" are enough to strike fear into the heart of even the most unflappable of geeky observers.

And that, frankly, is the scariest scene in this otherwise pretty uninspired stab at horror.

Movie Review: One Upon A Time in Mumbaai (2010)

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Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai: Amongst Bollywood’s best underworld sagas

Rating: 3.5 out of 5*

Starring: Ajay Devgan, Emraan Hashmi, Kangana Ranaut, Prachi Desai and Randeep Hooda

Director: Milan Luthria

You seldom get period dramas in Bollywood which are not about historical characters. This year that way has been very lucky that way. Couple of months ago we had Badmaash Company and now we have Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai. Of course both are completely different from each other, the first being set in the fast 90s and the latter being set in colourful 70s. And director Milan Luthria makes enough efforts to make OUATIM look very authentic and worth a watch for its settings.

Settings apart the film has its pluses with some superb performances and great dialogues. However the problem with the film is the not so new storyline and the very slow screenplay. Though the characters are well established and well rounded the writer takes the entire first half to do that without much movement in the story. And then as you expect fireworks in the second half it fizzles out too fast.

OUATIM is the story of two gangsters. While one was ethical the other was reckless. It has inspirations of the characters of infamous smuggler Haji Mastan and now infamous don Dawood Ibrahim. The film is about Sultan (Ajay Devgn) who labored through his childhood and became a smuggler as he grew up completely ruling the sea routes. He however always preferred keeping the city clean and never smuggles which was against his conscience. Shoaib (Emraan Hashmi) is inspired by Sultan’s life as a child and wants to it as big. He is a son of a police officer but has no inclination towards the law. As he grows up he makes his way to Sultan’s gang and proves himself good enough to go up the ladder fast. However his reckless ambitions soon outgrew Sultan and he decided to take over the city on his own.

The story is built on the line – ‘behind the myth is the city’s greatest betrayal story’. The screenplay does not give much importance to the betrayal. The slow pace of the first half could be a put off. Also funnily Sultan and his girlfriend Rehana never seem to age as they continue to look the same even as Shoaib grows from a child to rustic young crook.

The film has its pluses. Luthria has taken care of everything – right from trains to cars to sunglasses to shoes to buildings! Everything takes us back to the 70s. Luthria handles the dramatic moments well and great use has been made of dialoguebaazi. All actors have come up with some memorable performances. Ajay Devgn’s overpowering presence is matched by Emraan’s charm. Kangna Ranaut and Prachi Desai do their bits well though they don’t bear many consequences on the story itself. Randeep Hooda is effective as the police office.

Overall, ‘Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai’ is an entertainer. It does not need any effort to be understood of liked. It is the mere magic of characters created that makes this film worth watching.